Last week, I realized I was not as productive as I should have been due to poor mental health, anxiety, and procrastination. I resolved to better my work ethics, even if only marginally, this week, but alas, the universe conspired against me. This week, I was all but ready to start working on revising my capstone paper, which I received back on Monday with edits I need to make. Unfortunately, this was also the week where the school decided to issue standardized testing to determine our reading and math abilities. While in years past this would have been a one day thing, this year they switched the standardized tests and we had to test out of every grade level starting at kindergarten. This was excruciating and annoying, as the test were extremely long. Usually, I can blow through this test in about thirty minutes, but these tests took me two days each. With the reading test, there were so many passages and questions. There were moments where I couldn't think properly and just chose an answer which I believed made sense. This exam was draining and after the testing, I felt lethargic and annoyed. I could not force myself to do any other work around this time due to how draining the testing was. While the math had less reading, the questions were more complex. They took more time to answer and had more layers to it. While I like math more than reading, the math section was still draining, albeit not as much as the reading was. After finishing the reading section, which I did today, I just couldn't refocus my mind to my paper.
On the topic of my paper, there were some grammatical issues with the APA formatting in my paper. I was able to fix them on Wednesday painlessly. However, there was some content issue, with some clarifications needed to be made at places and safety information for the chemicals in the methods section needed. I was able to address some of the clarifications needed throughout my paper, but I still have a few more. I unfortunately was unable to start looking into the safety information for the chemicals. Although some progress has been made in my paper, much work is left to be done. Although I should have done some of the work at home, I was unable to for the most part. I had a lot of work to do for my other classes, especially my ECE English and Calculus classes. I also did procrastinate, but not as bad as last week. I just tend to do my work extremely slowly so work that should take me an hour takes me two hours instead. Likewise, I also tended to get distracted on YouTube at home. While I was making strides to improve my work ethic, misfortune struck again! Since my home laptop was not responding as I wanted it to, I kept restarting my laptop which caused it to crash. Now when I start it, it takes a while to load and when I log on, I can't do any type of function as as soon as I click something, my computer freezes and crashes again. I have spent the past two days trying to alleviate this issue, which took some time away from my school work. But I do know I need to change and better my work ethic, not only for the sake of my grades but for the sake of my anxiety and mental health as well. As soon as I fix my personal laptop, I will address the concerns in the capstone paper and move forward with the rest of my school work for now. Let's see how this plan goes... Tags: Blogs, Independent, Forward, Reflection, Planning, Lit Review, Problem Solving, Time Management
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Since I posted a blog on Wednesday, this blog will be pretty short in comparison. This week I was pretty productive, although I think I can improve. I was able to update the website and submit my draft of my paper. I began reading through my paper, making mental notes of what I might need to change. But I feel that I could have been more productive. I was side-tracked for most of the week. I think the main reason I tried to avoid doing my work was a combination of senioritis and anxiety. I have worked so hard the past three years, at times, I just don't have the motivation to do any work. During the summer, I didn't work as hard as I do during the school year and was travelling and having some fun. I feel at times, I am stuck in that mentality of trying to take it easier than I should. I also feel that I am anxious for the future of my project, of this class, my grades, and my own future. I don't know whether the data I need will come through in time. I don't know whether I will be able to write my final paper and make my final poster and present my final presentation. I don't know whether I will be able to pass this class with the grade I expect from myself. I don't know whether my college application will be any good. I don't know whether I will be able to do well on the SAT and SAT Subject test. I don't know how I will pay for college. I don't even know whether I will get into the colleges that I want to go to. I am just filled with so much anxiety.
I need to fix this if I want to be more productive. I need to buckle down and just do my work. If I can start chipping away at my work, I do think part of my anxiety that this class contributes to will diminish. I just need to start but that is easier said than done. In addition to this class, all of my work for my other classes, especially ECE Calculus tends to take up most of my time. I feel like I just don't have enough time to do my work. I need to start managing my time better and working harder, smarter, and more efficiently. If I can do that, I think I will find more time to study for the SATs and do my college application. I think my overall anxiety levels will diminish as well. By the beginning of next week, I hope to have my paper with revision suggestions, which I will work on next week. Hopefully, next week will find me in a more productive and overall positive and healthy head space. Tags: Blogs, Lit Review, Planning, Problem Solving, Reflection, Forward A new beginning, new classes, and new goals. Since this is senior year - which I still can't believe; it feels like yesterday that I started high school- goal setting is imperative to success. Goal setting allows you to see what you have to accomplish and work on in order to be successful and reach your dreams. It allows your dreams and aspirations to be more attainable by outlining your steps to reach your destination. This year, I want to maintain my GPA, which will be a challenge since I am taking ECE Calculus. For my career goals, I want to get into a good university and major in biomedical engineering or bio-engineering that will prepare me for either a master's degree or for medical school. Personally, I want to be more productive and optimistic. The lack of both of these things last year really hindered my mental health last year and led to an increase of stress and anxiety for me. Since this is my last year of high school, I want this to be the best year it can possibly be, and I can't do that if I am stressed out. Even though I know that I will stress about college applications, I want to try to limit all other sources of stress. Last year, I would feel unmotivated and procrastinate. This led to an increase of stress, and led me to have a pessimistic attitude at times. I want to try to be more optimistic and productive to improve my mental health and allow me to be the best version of myself that I can possibly be.
As I mentioned before, I have not one, but three mentors. Dr. Kanchan Sonkar is helping me with the experimental part and the paper, Dr. Balaji Krishnamachary is helping me with my paper, and Dr. Kristine Glunde is the head of the lab. I needed a mentor to review my paper and help me with the experimental part. I would ask for help on running the experiment and reviewing my paper. One critical skill I want to work on this month is being flexible. I feel like last year I set unrealistic deadlines for myself on my assignments and when I received extra work from my other classes, I was unable to stick to my deadlines and would stress out. By being more flexible and rolling with the punches, I hope to improve my resolve and mental health. The next 2-3 major tasks I need to complete for my capstone project is:
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AuthorShubhangy Raghavan Archives
January 2019
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